Very Strange

Reading back through my years of posts. My ideas. My goals.
Sometimes makes me very sad, that I haven't been able to stay focused. That instead I have wandered.
Yet at the same time, I have learned so much.
Roman Catholic in my teenaged years. In love with the ritual but became disillusioned by the doctrine. Found Wicca/Paganism as a way to engage in the beauty of ritual but with the freedom to make things the way I needed them to be.
From there, finding Esoteric Christianity and Gnosticism. Becoming a sister in the Order of St.Esclarmonde. I wanted to pursue a ministry within the Apostolic Johannite Church. Then different things happened, some big, some small (for me West is Earth and North is Water... I can't help it, it's just one of those 'things' ---), and I started pursuing an independant ministry through what is now called The Universalist Fellowship of the Sacred Path. This body of like minded individuals offers support to one another as they find they path they are called to. Supports them in whatever manner their ministry goes,within some very basic and wonderful guidelines. Jewish, Christian, Pagan, etc... doesn't matter.
So now, I'm very much on my own, plotting out my own path. It is valid. It is worthwhile. It is... for lack of a more appropriate label Progressive Christianity with an Earth-Based expression...
But I look back on old posts. The enthusiasm I had. The simplicity of just 'Do this'... and I miss it. It can be easy to lose oneself when one is simply plotting the path as they tumble along it.